This blog is purely to reflect on 2007: the ups, the downs, and everything that this year has taught me.
*Patience really is a virtue
*Good things come to those who wait and trust in God
*The sun will always rise tomorrow
*Never go to bed angry
*You can't go anywhere without a college degree, and the faster I finish school and obtain my degree the happier I'll be
*It's okay to cry, but it is not okay to cry all the time
*I will always hate snow
*Some girls are naturally whorish and act stupid to get attention, but that's okay because I'm better than them
*I look absolutely ridiculous with short hair
*Not everyone is going to like you, and that's okay
*I've gained back all the weight I lost in high school, and that absolutely disgusts me
*I've found my soulmate, the person I'm going to grow old and wrinkly with, and that's one of the best feelings in the world
*I've seen more places this year then in all my life leading up to it
*It's not always "Best Friends Forever", people do change
*Your ex's are exes for a reason and it is perfectly okay to not want anything to do with them
*I hate being alone
*I am almost always cold and I really wish I could change that
*I have a tendancy of over-reacting sometimes
*I am more mature than most of the people my own age
*My family is absolutely amazing
*Jason is my best friend, he truly makes me a better person and I love him with all of my heart
*You may not always get what you want, but the things you need always seem to find you
*No one is perfect
I think that's enough for now. Good bye 2007.. hello 2008. Until next time...
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
BrRrRr
HELLO faithful friends! Yes, I am still alive and we managed to survive the Western Caribbean! We are absolutely exhausted. I don't even think exhausted is a strong enough word. I'll probably sleep until noon tomorrow, easily. I have TONS of pictures to upload, probably not on here, but on myspace and facebook for sure and I PROMISE I will write a FULL update on our trip and everything else that is going on! This is such a crazy month... Christmas is creeping up on me so fast! Well I am off to bed, goodnight everyone!!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Mini
HEY! I know it's been waaaaay too long since my last update, but I am really keeping busy. I don't have much time today, but I'll give everyone a mini update.
Let's start with my 21st birthday. AWESOME! Windsor was so much fun! Kevin and Liz ended up being able to come and Caitlin came home from school so needless to say I wasn't disappointed! We went to Windsor Casino for dinner, wasn't too impressed with my food. Oh well. Then went back to our hotel and had a few drinks to wait for Kevin and Liz. Well, we had more than a few. ;-) Unfortunately Caitlin got sick and ended up just going to bed. So when Kevin and Liz got there the 4 of us headed over to the Beach. It was so nice to actually act like a 21 year old girl and not have to worry about being this perfectly behaved little future wife. Don't get me wrong, the wanna-be perfect future wife is pry who I am and want to be for the most part, but I want to go out and party and maybe act stupid sometimes. :-D It's fair. I loved being able to dance and just have an awesome time! I haven't done that in a looong time. I needed it.
This past weekend we went camping in Traverse City and it was a great time! I'll add all the details about that tomorrow.
No time left, I'll update again tomorrow!
Let's start with my 21st birthday. AWESOME! Windsor was so much fun! Kevin and Liz ended up being able to come and Caitlin came home from school so needless to say I wasn't disappointed! We went to Windsor Casino for dinner, wasn't too impressed with my food. Oh well. Then went back to our hotel and had a few drinks to wait for Kevin and Liz. Well, we had more than a few. ;-) Unfortunately Caitlin got sick and ended up just going to bed. So when Kevin and Liz got there the 4 of us headed over to the Beach. It was so nice to actually act like a 21 year old girl and not have to worry about being this perfectly behaved little future wife. Don't get me wrong, the wanna-be perfect future wife is pry who I am and want to be for the most part, but I want to go out and party and maybe act stupid sometimes. :-D It's fair. I loved being able to dance and just have an awesome time! I haven't done that in a looong time. I needed it.
This past weekend we went camping in Traverse City and it was a great time! I'll add all the details about that tomorrow.
No time left, I'll update again tomorrow!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Unbalanced
Alright, I seriously think there may be something wrong with me. I'm pretty sure everyone has days where they just get emotional and just need a good cry to get it out of there system, but I am also pretty sure that it is NOT normal to experience this daily. It seems like every day I wake up, clean or sit around and I just start crying, and I really have no valid reason for crying. I am generally a very happy person. I have a terrific family who supports me, an amazing boyfriend who loves me and would do anything for me, friends who are always there, what is wrong with me? Jason thinks I'm crazy, and I'm starting to believe him. Can anyone explain this to me?
I do know one thing for sure, I am so disgusted with myself right now. I looked in the mirror the other day and I couldn't believe what I saw. I have gained so much weight it's unreal. I finally made myself step on the scale (something I REALLY try to avoid doing at all costs) and discovered that I now weigh more then I did before I went through my anorexic episode. I completely lost it. And I'll admit, it literally made me sick. And suddenly food became my enemy again. But this time I'm not going to let it engulf me. I will never starve myself ever again. I'm going to do it right, I've started eating better and started working out again. I'm not really looking for a number anymore as far as how much I weigh, I just want to be a size 10 or 12 COMFORTABLY and just be healthier. I want to feel good about myself again. Because right now I don't.
So, my birthday is coming up. It's a pretty big 1 I guess. You do only turn 21 once, but honestly I don't really want to go out and get plastered. Does that make me strange? I've decided that I am just going to take a few close friends with me and we're going to go to Windsor and go dancing. Amanda, I really wish you could come with us, but if I were you I would NEVER come back to this side of the country from California. I know we could go to Toledo or Detroit to go out, but some of my friends are under 21 and would like to drink so Windsor is a good alternative. I'm hoping it's going to be a lot of fun, and it should, but no matter what it's got to be better than my last 3 birthdays.
Oh, and another thing I've come to discover about myself or should I say someone pointed out to me: I seem to be very needy. That's a first for me. I've always been the one that did everything for everyone else and expected nothing for myself. I guess I've become overly dependent on others all of a sudden. And I really am sorry. I'm not trying to take anyone or anything for granted. I've NEVER wanted that. I guess I have a lot of self evaluating to do and more growing up to do. I thought I was progressing well, I thought I was well advanced as far as maturity level goes for someone my age, but I guess I was wrong. Wow, it's great how life slaps you in the face.
I know this blog is very random, but different things hit me at different times. My head is all over the place and I am just trying to make sense of it. I would like to point out that by no means am I writing this for people to feel sorry for me or pity me. I don't need that. This is simply to clear my thoughts. I would like to thank all my real friends that are sticking by me through all my craziness and I know I don't make sense, but I am trying and you guys being there for me means the WORLD to me. I'll write more and actually give you guys an update of everything that is going on at a later time. Until next time...
I do know one thing for sure, I am so disgusted with myself right now. I looked in the mirror the other day and I couldn't believe what I saw. I have gained so much weight it's unreal. I finally made myself step on the scale (something I REALLY try to avoid doing at all costs) and discovered that I now weigh more then I did before I went through my anorexic episode. I completely lost it. And I'll admit, it literally made me sick. And suddenly food became my enemy again. But this time I'm not going to let it engulf me. I will never starve myself ever again. I'm going to do it right, I've started eating better and started working out again. I'm not really looking for a number anymore as far as how much I weigh, I just want to be a size 10 or 12 COMFORTABLY and just be healthier. I want to feel good about myself again. Because right now I don't.
So, my birthday is coming up. It's a pretty big 1 I guess. You do only turn 21 once, but honestly I don't really want to go out and get plastered. Does that make me strange? I've decided that I am just going to take a few close friends with me and we're going to go to Windsor and go dancing. Amanda, I really wish you could come with us, but if I were you I would NEVER come back to this side of the country from California. I know we could go to Toledo or Detroit to go out, but some of my friends are under 21 and would like to drink so Windsor is a good alternative. I'm hoping it's going to be a lot of fun, and it should, but no matter what it's got to be better than my last 3 birthdays.
Oh, and another thing I've come to discover about myself or should I say someone pointed out to me: I seem to be very needy. That's a first for me. I've always been the one that did everything for everyone else and expected nothing for myself. I guess I've become overly dependent on others all of a sudden. And I really am sorry. I'm not trying to take anyone or anything for granted. I've NEVER wanted that. I guess I have a lot of self evaluating to do and more growing up to do. I thought I was progressing well, I thought I was well advanced as far as maturity level goes for someone my age, but I guess I was wrong. Wow, it's great how life slaps you in the face.
I know this blog is very random, but different things hit me at different times. My head is all over the place and I am just trying to make sense of it. I would like to point out that by no means am I writing this for people to feel sorry for me or pity me. I don't need that. This is simply to clear my thoughts. I would like to thank all my real friends that are sticking by me through all my craziness and I know I don't make sense, but I am trying and you guys being there for me means the WORLD to me. I'll write more and actually give you guys an update of everything that is going on at a later time. Until next time...
Monday, August 6, 2007
Oh What A Monday
So much for the updating daily idea. Believe it or not, I actually had a busy weekend.
Saturday we woke up late, like 11ish. It was great! Jason mowed the lawn and I cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed downstairs. Went to El Camino for lunch. I was kind of disappointed, my food there is normally really good, but it lacked a lot that day. After lunch we headed over to Lowes to get supplies to make a toss game for ourselves and one for my grandpa. I'd just like to thank Lowes for having the wrong parts in the wrong section. We managed to pick up 4 of the wrong pieces. And of course Jason threw the receipt. So we now have 4 plumbing elbows we will probably never need. But on the positive side, I finally convinced Jason to look at paint colors. :-D I'm going to paint the bedroom next to the green bathroom, and we decided on a light green color called "Lettuce Alone." Pretty cute, huh? Jason has decided not to sell the house, at least I'm pretty sure that's what he's decided. And I'm glad. I love this house, it's gorgeous, and I know he loves it. Anyways, back to Saturday. After we left Lowes, we decided to go to the horse races. I didn't do too bad, but of course Jason won most of the races. LoL. As always, it was a good time.
Sunday I wanted to go to the zoo, but it rained. :( Booooo rain! We went to lunch at J Alexanders. I absolutely love that place. I could eat spinach con queso dip EVERY day! Then we decided we wanted to go to Paint Your Masterpiece. Drive out there, yeah, they are definitely closed on Sunday. Booo to that also!! So now we have a project for next weekend! Yay! So we didn't really do a lot of anything yesterday afternoon. Then last night we met my sisters and my dad at Olive Garden. That was a good time. Allison's stories are pretty entertaining. Haha. Then it was home and bed EARLY. Too bad I couldn't fall asleep. I think I finally dozed off at about 2. Then I don't know if Molly made a noise or what but I heard something and it woke me up again. From there on it was like trying to win an uphill battle on ice. I woke up about every 30 min. Needless to say I'm tired now.
I had an interview this morning @ 8 am at Toledo Express Airport for National Car Rental. Yeah, talk about mis-advertising. The ad said it was a full time position. WRONG! It was only 24 hours a week, ALL weekends, and it only paid $8 an hour. I don't think so. I was really disappointed. So I guess it's back to searching. I would really like to find a new job.
Well, I think that's enough for now, I'm hungry and I need to switch the laundry over. Until next time my lovlies...
Saturday we woke up late, like 11ish. It was great! Jason mowed the lawn and I cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed downstairs. Went to El Camino for lunch. I was kind of disappointed, my food there is normally really good, but it lacked a lot that day. After lunch we headed over to Lowes to get supplies to make a toss game for ourselves and one for my grandpa. I'd just like to thank Lowes for having the wrong parts in the wrong section. We managed to pick up 4 of the wrong pieces. And of course Jason threw the receipt. So we now have 4 plumbing elbows we will probably never need. But on the positive side, I finally convinced Jason to look at paint colors. :-D I'm going to paint the bedroom next to the green bathroom, and we decided on a light green color called "Lettuce Alone." Pretty cute, huh? Jason has decided not to sell the house, at least I'm pretty sure that's what he's decided. And I'm glad. I love this house, it's gorgeous, and I know he loves it. Anyways, back to Saturday. After we left Lowes, we decided to go to the horse races. I didn't do too bad, but of course Jason won most of the races. LoL. As always, it was a good time.
Sunday I wanted to go to the zoo, but it rained. :( Booooo rain! We went to lunch at J Alexanders. I absolutely love that place. I could eat spinach con queso dip EVERY day! Then we decided we wanted to go to Paint Your Masterpiece. Drive out there, yeah, they are definitely closed on Sunday. Booo to that also!! So now we have a project for next weekend! Yay! So we didn't really do a lot of anything yesterday afternoon. Then last night we met my sisters and my dad at Olive Garden. That was a good time. Allison's stories are pretty entertaining. Haha. Then it was home and bed EARLY. Too bad I couldn't fall asleep. I think I finally dozed off at about 2. Then I don't know if Molly made a noise or what but I heard something and it woke me up again. From there on it was like trying to win an uphill battle on ice. I woke up about every 30 min. Needless to say I'm tired now.
I had an interview this morning @ 8 am at Toledo Express Airport for National Car Rental. Yeah, talk about mis-advertising. The ad said it was a full time position. WRONG! It was only 24 hours a week, ALL weekends, and it only paid $8 an hour. I don't think so. I was really disappointed. So I guess it's back to searching. I would really like to find a new job.
Well, I think that's enough for now, I'm hungry and I need to switch the laundry over. Until next time my lovlies...
Friday, August 3, 2007
Day Number One
Well, I officially have a "grown up" blog now. Nothing against my beloved Myspace, but the blog there comes off to me as a bit juvenile. I'm hoping to blog almost daily, although I'm pretty sure it won't be daily, but I want to blog as much as possible because I really think it's a good way to help clear my mind.
The job situation is looking up, finally. I had an interview with Owens for a clerk/receptionist position on Wednesday morning. The job sounds fun and the hours are great. They offered me the position but I don't think I'm going to be able to take it because it's only a contract position through the second week of October. I need something permanent. I have another job interview Mondy at National Car Rental at Toledo Express Airport for a service agent positon. I'm really hoping that this pans out. Please keep me in your prayers, I really need to get away from Speedco!
I've finally chosen my major. 100% serious this time. I plan on majoring in Network Administration. I will basically be doing similar to what Jason does, but more focused on just networking computers. I know it's not going to be easy, and I want to say thank you to everyone who has reminded me of that about 1,000 times now. I'm done taking the easy way out of things, I've really grown up and I know what I want in life now. This whole going back to school situation and such has really taken an emotional toll on me, and it's not just the stress of figuring out how I'm going to pay for it or the level of difficulty I'm facing. It's the fact that no one believes I can do it. I know I've disappointed people in the past, but that was then and this is now. I want to make everyone, and myself, proud. But the lack of support really does hurt. The people who I thought had the most faith in me now seem to have the least. Maybe I'm asking or looking for too much. Perhaps I'm too co-dependent on others. I don't know.
I have this weekend off!! Woohoo!! I really want to go to the zoo! So hopefully we're going to the zoo tomorrow. I can't wait to see the baby polar bears!! Then tomorrow night we are going over to Mike and Liz's for margarita's. Yum!! Sunday I plan on sleeping in. We're talking like 11am. Haha. Then Sunday night I'm hoping to go to the horse races. Yay! Such an exciting weekend planned, yay!!
Well, I should think about cleaning around the house a little before I get ready for work, so until next time my lovlies....
The job situation is looking up, finally. I had an interview with Owens for a clerk/receptionist position on Wednesday morning. The job sounds fun and the hours are great. They offered me the position but I don't think I'm going to be able to take it because it's only a contract position through the second week of October. I need something permanent. I have another job interview Mondy at National Car Rental at Toledo Express Airport for a service agent positon. I'm really hoping that this pans out. Please keep me in your prayers, I really need to get away from Speedco!
I've finally chosen my major. 100% serious this time. I plan on majoring in Network Administration. I will basically be doing similar to what Jason does, but more focused on just networking computers. I know it's not going to be easy, and I want to say thank you to everyone who has reminded me of that about 1,000 times now. I'm done taking the easy way out of things, I've really grown up and I know what I want in life now. This whole going back to school situation and such has really taken an emotional toll on me, and it's not just the stress of figuring out how I'm going to pay for it or the level of difficulty I'm facing. It's the fact that no one believes I can do it. I know I've disappointed people in the past, but that was then and this is now. I want to make everyone, and myself, proud. But the lack of support really does hurt. The people who I thought had the most faith in me now seem to have the least. Maybe I'm asking or looking for too much. Perhaps I'm too co-dependent on others. I don't know.
I have this weekend off!! Woohoo!! I really want to go to the zoo! So hopefully we're going to the zoo tomorrow. I can't wait to see the baby polar bears!! Then tomorrow night we are going over to Mike and Liz's for margarita's. Yum!! Sunday I plan on sleeping in. We're talking like 11am. Haha. Then Sunday night I'm hoping to go to the horse races. Yay! Such an exciting weekend planned, yay!!
Well, I should think about cleaning around the house a little before I get ready for work, so until next time my lovlies....
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