Hello, Boy

Well, it's been a year today since you left us, and as you know there is still a bad taste in most of our mouths. It feels like yesterday you walked into Mamaw's house, with your long hair in a pony tail that Mamaw hated, and we all sat down, talking or planning about going to a race. It still seems so unreal that you won't be there for another race, won't be there to see any of us get married and have kids (you were always great with kids), won't be there to play another game of basketball with us, you just won't be coming around anymore. It's still painful. I know we'll never fully understand why you did what you did, but I think this year has taught me a lot and slowly, you're helping us all understand. I got off work last night, thinking about you and how hard today was going to be, and I turned on the radio and the song that was playing was "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me. I admit, I started crying. I know that that was you coming through telling me that you were okay, you were safe, and most of all you were happy. You were where you belonged. That really helped. I can't say that I don't still hurt, that's going to take more time, but I know that you don't want any of us to cry anymore. All of us still talk about "the good times" and we can't help but smile. I remember my freshman year of high school you came to almost every 1 of my basketball game, and I never told you how grateful I was for that. I remember you were living with Mamaw and Papaw at that time and we bought you the basketball hoop for your birthday that year. I believe you turned 34 that year. Wow, that seems so long ago. You played with me every time I came out there, and you made me a better player. No one could help me with my temper that season though. LoL. I remember going down to Eldora and camping with you, Papaw, Cassie, Amber, and my 2 sisters. I know when Jason and I go down there this summer that you'll be sleeping outside our tent to make sure no drunk idiot gets to close to any of us. That always made me laugh. I remember arguing with you countless times about how Mark Keegan was not a good driver/person and I would continue to boo him. We're still waiting for him to retire, but I won't boo him anymore. So many things have happened since you've been gone, you missed the birth of your first grandchild. Riley is so adorable and I know you are very proud of Cassie. Amber is going to go so far with her creativity. She blows me away every time I see her, she is mature beyond her years. And I know if you were here you would be on top of Allison telling her to get her shit straight. LoL. Caitlin is excelling at school and finally broadening her social horizons. As for me, I'm doing ok right now. I hope you're rocking out in heaven in your big yellow truck, listening to Linkin Park like we always did. By the way, Papaw let me and Caitlin drive that finally, only a couple of times, but don't worry we took extra good care of her. Please continue to be with all of us, we love and miss you more every day. You know I think about you every day. Until I see you again...



R.I.P. Uncle Russ a.k.a. "The Boy" 3.4.68-4.1.07